It's June 10th again..
Sending him a facebook message on his birthday is like a habit that I have formed. Knowing that he will never reply.. I don't know.. his disappearance from my life, it was quiet. Even though there was a dramatic argument, his made his exit so quietly, I don't know how to explain.. It's like, he left, but I never missed him. Just like he was there making a difference in my life, and I never felt it before either. For he is the reason why I buy every guy I like Paul Smith. He is the reason why I want to see Tag Heuer on my future husband. He is reason why I fell in love with men who can sing. He is the reason why I stopped modelling. He is the reason why Wheverever you will go is my favourite song. He is the reason for who I am today.
He rescued me from misery, bad memories, but in return, I gave him mine. Have I ever loved him? I don't know.. I never thought I did at least. I never thought that love, he was just always there. Always so secretly, so quietly.. So quiet that when he left, I took no notice at all either. But I wish him happiness, even willing to give him mine. He is the shadow I search for in every man.
Josh,
I don't think we'd ever talk again. Maybe you never knew, you're the man who has made the greatest impact on my life. Your words are the only ones that kept ringing in my ears, every day, every minute. I wish you happy.
Love,
Charl
